12 Ways to Deal with Disappointment

When you experience disappointment, it can really hurt. It can be devastating and difficult to accept.

Disappointment can even put you into a negative state of mind for long periods of time.

However, learning to deal with disappointment in a more positive and healthy way can be a beneficial exercise for your overall emotional and mental health.

So, let’s take a look at some ways that can help us to cope with disappointment better, and even reduce the situations that cause us to feel disappointed in the first place.

• Acceptance

When you feel disappointed, it can really hurt. And that’s perfectly okay.

Don’t try and cover up those feelings or push them away. Instead, allow yourself to feel that hurt and to not be okay for a while.

Allow yourself time to process why you feel the way you do, and who or what has caused you to feel disappointed. By doing this, you will ultimately be allowing yourself the opportunity to heal quicker. Whereas by continually squashing your feelings and not allowing them to surface, you are just delaying the inevitable. This can then begin to show in other ways, making you moody and irritable, or passive-aggressive towards other people.

The sooner you accept the disappointment, the sooner you can move on from it.

• YOU are not a disappointment

Just because you have been disappointed many times, or you may have disappointed someone else unintentionally, that doesn’t mean that YOU are a disappointment.

You should never label yourself – or anyone else – as a disappointment.

Just because you feel disappointed today, doesn’t mean you will feel that way tomorrow or the next day.

Instead, if a mistake has been made, learn from it and make the informed choice to move forward and do things differently next time.

No situation will last forever, even if it may feel that way at times.

• Learn

Even though disappointment hurts, there are often valuable lessons that can be learned from it if you choose to see them.

When a disappointing situation arises, try asking yourself questions such as:

What can I learn from this?

How could I avoid this kind of disappointment in the future?

What could I do differently next time?

By doing this, you might be surprised at what you will learn about yourself and the way you handle situations.

You may realize that if you had communicated a little better in a certain situation, the disappointment could have been avoided. Or perhaps there are certain changes you could make to better balance your work and home life, that could help you to avoid a particular mistake you may have made to disappoint someone else.

• Everyone gets disappointed

Even the most successful people, the ones you may look up to; have had their fair share of disappointment in life.

Disappointment, setbacks, and failure are all a normal, and even healthy, part of life. They are a sign of growth and change, which are both things we need to be able to learn to succeed.

Just keeping that small fact in mind can be a helpful reminder to stay strong, and keep going in the face of disappointment.

• Refocus

Although it is important to accept the feeling of disappointment and allow ourselves to feel the associated hurt, it is also important to let it go and shift our focus onto something more positive.

Refocus on the people and passions in your life that you may sometimes take for granted.

Make a point of being grateful for the things you have, such as a home to live in and clean water to drink. This can help you to put things back into perspective and not allow disappointment to overwhelm you.

• Talk about it

Getting a new perspective on the situation at hand can be a helpful, and sometimes vital, part of dealing with disappointment.

One of the best and healthiest ways to do that is to talk it over with someone close to you, such as a family member or close friend.

Sometimes, just the act of venting itself can be enough help. And if your friend or family member can offer you some advice, you may be able to come up with an action-plan together as to how you will move forward.

• Don’t expect perfection

If you expect perfection, then make no mistake – you will be disappointed.

No one is perfect. So, it may be time to adjust your expectations a little if perfection is what you’re striving for.

If you buy into myths of perfection, you will only end up hurting yourself and those close to you.

• Take a break

We all work hard, and it’s necessary to do so to reach our goals. But it’s equally as important to take a break and allow ourselves to recharge from time to time.

This is certainly true when it comes to getting over a disappointment.

Taking some time off to regroup will allow you to reassess the situation in a better headspace, more equipped to learn from what happened, accept it and move forward in a more constructive way.

• Get out of your head

Sometimes it can be easy to get caught in a spiral of negative thinking, going over and over the same situation or the reason for our disappointment.

If you tend to do this, the best thing you can do is refocus your attention outward.

Try helping out a friend or family member with a task or problem they may be having. Focusing your attention on giving someone else advice on their situation will help you reevaluate your own from a new perspective.

Exercise is also a great way to renew your energy and get out of your head for a bit.

• Get motivated

Help yourself get motivated by thinking positively and lifting your spirits with help from the people around you.

This could be in the form of socializing or casual conversations with friends and family members.

However, some other things that can be of great help could be certain books, movies and YouTube channels, online forums or social media channels.

Spending 10 minutes to an hour each day with one or a few such sources could assist greatly in helping to shift your thinking.

• Start small

Once you have accepted the disappointment, learned from it, refocused and become motivated; it is now time to move forward.

However, this doesn’t mean you have to take a giant leap.

Come up with an action plan and break it up into steps. Then start with the smallest one.

If that step is still too big, then break it down even further into something more manageable.

Everyone heals at their own pace. So, as long as you’re moving forward, you’re heading in the right direction!

• Improve your self-esteem

Being too self-critical and lacking confidence can often lead to feelings of disappointment. So, improving your self-esteem can help prevent you from getting dragged down into the spiral of negative thinking.

What are some ways to improve your self-esteem?

Try taking some time each day to write down 3 things you appreciate about yourself. This is a great habit to get into and will help you to start realizing your most positive qualities.

Don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be people who have more than you do, that’s a fact of life. Instead, begin comparing yourself to yourself. Compare yourself today to the person you were a year ago, and realize how far you’ve come and all the obstacles you’ve overcome. Focus on all the positive things you’ve achieved in that time.

As we have learned, disappointment is a normal part of life. We all experience it and learning to overcome it in a healthy way can be an extremely beneficial exercise.

Remember, no situation is forever. And most importantly, remember, YOU are not a disappointment.

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